If you still have Microsoft Windows 95, or just remember those days when a Tip of the Day appeared on your screen whenever you first boot up your computer. These tips describe features, commands and shortcuts in Windows that you may not know. Problem is, the designers of Windows were so busy trying to get rid of all that bugs in their program (not to mention exercising their Microsoft stock options), that they left out few important factoids!

Windows 95 "Tip of the Day" that appeared on your screen, you may have noticed!

• Did you know, Puns about "Speed bumps" or "Blowing a tire" on the information Superhighway were funny the first few times, but now are getting annoying.
• Did you know, you can delete the Macro Error Dialog Box that frequently appears on your screen when using Excel by simply banging on the side of your monitor a few times.
• Did you know, you can avoid neck injury and eyestrain at work by just quitting your job and finding one that doesn't involve computers in any way.
• Did you know, you can type the word "dog" simply by pressing the keys marked "d", "o" and "g" in order. If it is the first word of the sentence, you will need to press "Shift" + "D".
• Did you know, If your modem is broken or your E-mail destination is busy, you may communicate with friends with means of objects called "paper", "envelopes" and "telephones".
• Did you know, There is X-rated clip art in this program, but we won't tell you where it is unless you order an upgrade.
• Did you know, If you choose the option "Next Tip" or "More Tips", you really need to get a life.
• If you fill up E-mail to your friends with emoticons such as the happy face :), type in your name now and computer will automatically add it to it's thesaurus as a synonym of "Dweeb".
• Did you know, That Bill gates and many of the top designers at Microsoft are just confused and frustrated by Windows 95 as you are.
• Did you know, Using Apple computers causes impotence, blindness and gonorrhea - and that's just what we heard today.
• Did you know, you can plant a virus in a rival software company's computer network simply by pressing F5 + Crtl +7 and typing the http://www.gotohell.com
• Did you know, Those AOL disks that you constantly get in the mail can be easily erased and used for your own purposes.
• Did you know, if your hard drive crashes and you haven't backed up your files on floppy disks, there is a small cyanide capsule taped to the inside of the box this program came in.

- Jeff Kruse.